Dear Lucy

Before you were born, May 26th was just like any other day. It held excitement no doubt, being close to Memorial Day, Graduation, and many other promises of Summer right around the corner. But our "Mays" were forever changed once you arrived.

You were born on a Tuesday. Tuesday. As in "Tuesday's Child is full of Grace." I was unaware of this at the time, but I see now how very FULL of GRACE you are.

 In actions, you are gracious to be sure. You are kind to everyone around you and always looking to share something if your sister wants it. (Well, almost always!) 

In poise and personality, you are definitely GRACEful. You have had this girlyness about you from day one. Always finding joy in wearing a dress and a bow. So much so that you are inclined to pitch a little fit when you have to wear shorts or pants!

 In life, you have been both evidence of God's grace to us and evidence of His grace to you. The hours surrounding your birth were a bit scary for your Daddy and me, but HE had you safe in His care the whole time. You arrived unharmed and perfectly pink with a tiny head of downy soft hair. As soon as you were here, the doctor held you high so we could see and you cried out. I will never forget the feeling of you moving inside me one minute, and crying and wriggling with slightly disgruntled life the next.  I hope that even in my very last moments of life, when many details of life have long escaped me,  I will clearly remember the sound and sight of the miracle of your birth. 

On the night you were born, your Daddy and I greatly changed. We were unaware of how you would deepen and further strengthen our love and courage. As you grew in the days that followed, I was overwhelmed by the responsibility of parenting, and that has yet to change.

Sometimes I watch you coloring, laughing with your sister or playing with your dolls and I wonder if we are doing "it" right.

I wonder if we are loving you rightly, loving you as the Father loves us.

 I wonder if you KNOW how much and how far we love you.
 I flat out worry about being the mother you need.

I wish that in these moments of uncertainty I would always have a mental return to that warm night at the end of May. How in a few hours, what began as a routine Dr's Appt. (to be followed by our plans to have dinner at Crabtree Mall and an attempt to "walk you out!") quickly changed into a rushing to the OR for a necessary C-Section to "get this baby out as quickly as we can." Your Daddy and I didn't even have time to worry or realize what was going on. That was God's protection on us I believe. We were 482 miles away from OUR parents, about to become parents of our own. Whoa.

And in the moments following your birth, it mattered not that our plans had changed. It did not matter that there was no "birth plan" followed or even that I couldn't hold you or even nurse you for almost 24 hours, (well that one stung my heart a little.) ALL THAT REALLY MATTERED is that we could clearly see how God Almighty had faithfully carried you from the moment of conception to the moment of your birth.

He has carried you every minute of every day these FOUR years. That little head that had scarcely enough hair for a velcro bow, now has an abundance of waist-length curls. Those tiny pink hands  do kind things whenever able and know how to color in the lines with great precision! Those eyes, so big and dark, staring at me those first few days, (as if to say-- "are you sure you got this?") have deepened into your Grandaddy's shade of green and sparkle at any hint of giggle.

May you always remember that you are HIS and as you continue to grow until you grow right out of our house, may you trust HIM with your life.


Linda said...

Cynthia what beautiful words to your precious Lucy. I very much remember the day she made her unexpected early appearance! She is a gorgeous little girl, and apparently full of grace to boot!

a girl and her love said...

I could never forget that night... or the next several days/ weeks. Such a beautiful time. And she continues to be such a wonderful child. We are so delighted to be in her life.

Hope the celebration was intimate and special.